*Love today’s gone digital, and it’s messing with my health*
“That’s me right there bro.” I said, “that’s you who?” he asked, so I picked up phone and hit rewind on J.Cole’s Photograph, back to the part I wanted UG - my best friend to hear.
It rang out the speakers of the bluetooth duwise again, as fresh as the first. “I won’t show my niggas now, I’ll keep this one for myself, LOVE TODAY’s GONE DIGITAL AND ITS MESSING WITH MY HEALTH”.
UG caught the drift and smiled, like a pity-smile, “you and Mami abi?”. I replied “yes” with a feigned smile. Life is really funny and cruel for how She makes me - Jude, the central character of all her dry jokes.
I like beautiful girls, I can’t really have a thing for you if you are not beautiful like fine fine, coz I’m a fine ass man too, buh the thing with beautiful girls is, they are hard to get and harder to keep. Nemi was just that. Perfectly crafted face, beautiful dark skin, she was tall and had the prettiest smile, perfect lips that tasted like perfection, if perfection had a taste. The only thing I found odd about her face was the way her nose was shaped. I told this inside joke, about how I’ll apologize to my kids for not being able to find them a mom that would compliment my nose and save them from considering a nose job in future. Well that will probably not be the case now.
All through my days at Nnamdi Azikiwe University I didn’t bag a girlfriend, hell, I’ve never had one. Nobody ever believes this, and I understand why. I’m good looking, I’m not shy, I know my way around women, I’m good with words plus I’m a girlfriend snatcher. Buh I have never been able to bring myself to having a serious romantic relationship, maybe because I like pretty girls so much.
Or maybe it’s because, the girls I like don’t like me back, or the ones that like me, I don’t like right back. May it’s the hardest thing to find a perfect thing, and the perfect thing is the one thing I keep searching.
Unizik had the prettiest of girls, check @yolandambonu.
First year at Uni, everybody was getting girlfriends like it was nothing, during those first months of our 100level the relationship transfer market was really busy fa. Buh I, Jude was busy being picky, gosh 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️ I tire for myself.
I remember this babe who was supposed to be my first girlfriend, what was her name again ooo, okay let’s call her Sharon. It was my first day in school, I was trying to find my way around after I left the crowded Admin Block where I was supposed to undergo my physical clearance. She was trying to locate the MPH that was right in front of her. She stopped to ask me a few questions and discovered we were both one in the same, lost in this big place, admitted into different departments in the same faculty. I asked for her number, she gave me and a smile too, I called her once, then twice, no sparks, so I didn’t call her again. We kept bumping into each other tho, her face will remind me to call her once-once, sometimes when we jam, she’ll smile and tell her new friends “meet my first friend in Unizik”, one time she asked if she could visit, I said yes, buh typical Jude na, she was not my type, I concluded so I never popped the question, deliberately dodged her and she just let her slip through muy fingers.
I still don’t regret sha, it because she never became my type, unlike Lilian. The same department, one year apart, I was her senior, she was all over me one minute, not my type one minute and the next thing, she became fine as hell and started to snub me like a plague while I was busy trying to impress her by delivering suya and shawarma to girls hostel. It didn’t work sha, buh it covered for all the times she paid for my drinks at Chuckies, so I guess we’re even.
Well she’s light skinned so, she’s still not my type, no regrets.🤧
In the midst of all these girls wanting me - Abigail, a dark skinned beauty, we hooked up regularly buh we never dated... what’s even my excuse there? Can I find any?
Okay, maybe digital love it is, and its simple frugality is good and bad for me, but I love it the best. I’m a fairytale lover, a hapless romantic, I’m an Internet junky and I love my space - not that old crappy social network.
A typical girlfriend will always want to be there, physically, in your space. They don’t bring so much to the table either, because we get all the body contact and count with committed romantic relationships, so what’s to give my freedom away for?
To this effect, I have love and lost and experienced everything you have, in romantics, all on this virtual space.
My digital relationships are messy and fun, crazy and bad for my health - you are about to hear all about it in the next few series.
Chuks .Chinyere
Oct. 2019
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