Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Jona is planning to do in one month, more thsn he did in six years. lol. FG names major streets & roads in Abuja after GEJ, Sambo, Atiku, El Rufai, others


The Minister of the Federal Capital Territory has revealed plans to rename some major streets and road in the FCT after some prominent Nigerians.

In a statement released today April 27th by his spokesperson, Nosike Ogbuenyi, the ministersaid those to be honored with street names include President Jonathan, Vice President Namadi Sambo, former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, former Senate President, late Dr. Chuba Okadigbo, former Speaker of House of Representatives and Katsina State Governor-elect, Hon. Aminu Bello Masari, former Chief Justice of the Federation, Justice Dahiru Musdapha, Business moguls, Femi Otedola, Aliko Dangote and several others.

The Vampires Dairy Guy, Damon and the Twilight gurl ... real names: Nikki Reed And Ian Somerhalder Really Aren’t Wasting Any Time



After nine months of bumping fuck parts and three months of being engaged, fake vampires Ian Somerhalder and Nikki Reed got married in Malibu, CA yesterday. I hear all you bitter bitches putting your money into the their divorce pool. Put me down for six months.

JUSTIN BIEBER BULLIED HIS WAY INTO PROM ... High School Claims, buh JB says other wise... hey what the kids say???

EXCLUSIVE
Justin Bieber was not welcome at the high school prom he crashed this weekend -- not by the adults, anyway -- because school administrators say he physically shoved his way into the event.
Bieber popped into the Chatsworth Charter High prom for a few minutes on Saturday night at Jim Henson Studios in Hollywood -- and the students LOVED it when JB cruised around the dance floor.

Ghen Ghen! Here's a good way to deal with haters:lol Buhari bars AIT from covering his activities

Staff of Africa Independent Television, AIT, have been barred from covering all activities of  the President-elect, Gen. Buhari until issues bordering on ethics and standards against them have been addressed. AIT crew members were today escorted out of the Defence House where the president-elect currently resides. He was about to have a meeting with the Cuban and Switzerland ambassadors when the reporters were escorted out. Speaking on the development, the spokesperson of the Buhari campaign organization, Shehu Garba said family and security concerns necessitated it.
"AIT has been asked to step aside based on security and family concerns. In addition, Buhari has decided that they will have to resolve some issues relating to issues of standard and ethics. We will be talking with them to try and resolve the matter, but for now the station has been asked to stay aside because, like I said, there are some family and security concerns.
They have been asked to step down their coverage until we resolve the matter with them on ethics and standards‎. You can quote me that I said that we have asked them to step aside and that we are resolving the the issues of ethics and standards with them.”he said
 Go GMB am proud of u son... lol... this is where sitting on the fence pays.. hmmm D'banj u next

Monday, 27 April 2015

Boko Haram is a fraud - Buhari

A statement from Gen Buhari signed by his media aide, Shehu Garba.
"The fraud called Boko Haram can be defeated by denying it a recruitment base," General Buhari told visiting leaders of Nassarawa State who came to congratulate him on his emergence as President-elect. No religion allows for the killing of children in school dormitory, in markets and places of worship. They have nothing to do with religion. They are terrorists and we are going to deal with them as they deal with terrorists anywhere," he announced

Amber Rose, Machine Gun Kelly Ready, Aim, Banging... lol



0427-main-amber-rose-machine-gun-kelly-tmz-wm-01Amber Rose and rapper Machine Gun Kelly are on like Donkey Kong ... because nothing screams "together" like an airport pickup.
Rose met Kelly at baggage claim as he helped himself to handfuls of booty ... so say other disembarking passengers.

Mayweather vs. Pacquiao Jamie Foxx SINGING The American NAT'L ANTHEM


0427-floyd-mayweather-manny-pacquiao-jamie-fox-getty-01
0427-floyd-mayweather-manny-pacquiao-jamie-fox-getty-01Another HUUUGE boxing role for Jamie Foxx -- 'cause he's just been tapped to sing the National Anthem at the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight!

Forgiven &Forgotten "we hate you because u were a bad father, buh we support u know coz u truning into a woman, awesome": Bruce Jenner’s Older Kids Still Resent His Absentee Parenting — Now Support Him On His Journey To Become A Woman!


Bruce Jenner Interview Kids Parenting Outtakes
Bruce Jenner‘s older children fully support their father in his transformation, but admitted they resented him during the 1980s as he was figuring himself out.
As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Jenner shocked America in his 20/20 interview admitting that he was taking hormones as far back as that decade, a time when his biological older children were growing up. (Of his youngest two, Kendall was born in 1995 and Kylie in 1997.)
He told Diane Sawyer, “The big formative years for them, I was really struggling with these issues … I talked to all the boys about this after the fact, that, yeah, I didn’t do a good job — and I apologized to my kids for that.”

to those it may concern: Bruce Jenner Kids Deliver Shocking News Don't Do Reality TV!!!


0424-kim-jenners-getty-04In a truly weird turn, Bruce Jenner's sons, along with Kim Kardashian, are warning him to slow down on revealing too much of his journey on reality TV.

Mayweather vs. Pacquiao IT PAYS TO BE MEXICAN Whole Country Gets Fight for Free! LOL


EXCLUSIVE
0427-floyd-manny-getty-01
If you don't wanna pay $100 for the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight, ya might wanna head south of the border ... because the entire country of Mexico is getting the fight for FREE!!!
The World Boxing Council tells TMZ Sports ... two major Mexican TV networks have agreed to air the fight, Televisa and Azteca --so if you have a TV, you're good to go.

Obasanjo & Buhari will eventually fight, Buhari will be a formidable opponent - Babatope

In an interview with Punch, PDP chieftain, Ebenezer Babatope said former president Obasanjo and incoming president Buhari will eventually fight but Buhari will prove to be a formidable opponent. When asked what he foresaw of Buhari and Obasanjo's relationship, Babatope replied;
Many of them who are jumping up and down now will know better when Buhari must have finished dealing with them. Buhari is a Fulani man from Daura. The northern agenda to get rid of southern leadership started in the 2011 elections. Obasanjo had his reasons. He supported Jonathan to succeed Yar’Adua and he was the same person that said Jonathan should go. As an individual, he has his rights. I am told he has been given three ministerial slots. It could be more than that, so let him go ahead but it does not stop Obasanjo tomorrow to take his biro to wipe Buhari clean and clear but the difference is that when he is fighting Buhari, he will be fighting a different kind of opponent. Buhari is a Fulani; I keep on saying that and they are very rugged and tactical in their approach to power. It is going to be an interesting fight but it is going to come.
We in the PDP are waiting because we are returning to power in 2019 and luckily for us, we are going to bring out a candidate from the North to face Buhari. Some in the APC have been deceiving themselves that Buhari is not going to run for a second term. They say he’s going to do a term and I laugh at them. If God gives Buhari strength and power and I wish him that, he is going to run for a second term and we will pitch a Hausa/Fulani against him.

Lol. Man dressed as Jesus carrying a cross runs in London Marathon

Someone posted this pic on instagram yesterday saying they spotted a man in the London Marathon dressed as Jesus - on the cross. The man was later identified as Makoto Takeuchi from Japanese rock band The Chambers Flag. He thought running as Jesus would be cool and didn't bother wearing shoes because according to him, 'Jesus didn’t wear any.

US Daily Beast comes for Tinubu in new article, calls him 'Heroin Kingpin'

US Daily Beast profiled APC leader Bola Tinubu in an article titled 'Nigeria's Next Leader's Ties to a Heroin Ring' where they described Tinubu as a 'heroin kingpin'. Tinubu will not like this. Read below
General Muhammed Buhari’s political partner is a former bagman for two heroin traffickers. But that’s just business as usual in Nigeria. Nigeria’s election last month was celebrated as an unlikely victory for democracy in an African country with a tenuous record of free and fair representation. But the man most responsible for midwifing General Muhammed Buhari’s ballot triumph over current President Jonathan has a spotty CV.
Former Lagos provincial governor Bola Tinubu, affectionately nicknamed the Jagaban, is today seen as a shrewd if not “deeply Machiavellian” Svengali in Nigeria’s politics as well as the architect of a hugely successful anti-corruption platform. But 20 years ago he had to forfeit nearly half a million dollars to the U.S. Treasury Department after being named as an accomplice in a white heroin-trafficking and money-laundering ring that stretched from West Africa to the U.S. Midwest.

Jennifer Lopez STILL GOT IT . . . Even Though She’s In Her MID FORTIES . . . She STILL Looks Better Than KIM KARDASHIAN!!!

JLO u garrit
Jennifer posted this pic on Instagram yesterday. Ain't she still a BADT ASS CHICALA?

jus checking something out

It might take you a while to work out what is actually happening in these photos

When you look at these photos, what do you think is going on? It's a little confusing at first, right? Well, let me explain. Vanessa and Melanie are lesbian partners. Last year, Vanessa (with the long hair) was pregnant with the couple's first child. The couple celebrated with the photo on the left.

Then fast forward to 2015 and Melanie (in low cut) is the one now pregnant with the couple's second child. The couple took a similar picture (on the right) with the son they welcomed last year sitting on the floor playing with sand. They shared the photos on Facebook and it went viral. Continue...

Brad Pitt Takes a Licking ... or Beating




0426-brad-pitt-scratches-scars-markings-face-SPLASH-01Brad Pitt's face is indestructible -- a fact whoever (or whatever) hit Brad should have known before attempting to disfigure the American girl's dream.lol My Guess is, Angelina during a fight for pomo or the last slice of the pizza,  or not.

Billionaire Folorunsho Alakija meets world renowned pastor, Joel Osteen

Alakija iKnow, Joel Osteen??? will check him on wiki later, buh check out these coll pics first, #MoneyMoney
Billionaire oil magnate, Mrs Folorunsho Alakija met with world renowned pastor, Joel Osteen in the US recently. Another photo of Mrs Alakija with Joel's mum, Mrs Dodie Osteen, after the cut...

Well well well, i don't really care if Nyommi BANXXX or Tyra Banks got a facelift cosmetic surgery, buh if u do, the these Look At The BEFORE And AFTER Pics!!





: Tyra hosted the Daytime Emmy's yesterday. She showed off a new hairstyle . . . and a NEW FACE too. She clearly had some MAJOR work done on her face. It looks like CHEEK implants and a FACE LIFT to us.

Okay oooo iReally don't knw who Actress Uru Eke is oooo, However these newly released stunning new promo photos has catched my intrest and yours too iGuess!

Nollywood actress Uru Eke looked like something out of Hollywood in new promo pics she just released. See more photos after the cut...

Madonna Again!!!!!!! Turns out Mama 56 Eyes Fresh Young Meat ... And He's Down to Bang





Madonna Male Model
Madonna tried to holla at a hot shirtless male model -- who's 33 years younger than her -- but proving she' still got game ... we found out the guy's willing to give her a ride!

Lil Wayne Vs Young Thug Battle TURNS VIOLENT . . . Thugs Atlanta Goons Allegedly SHOOT UP Lil Wayne’s TOUR BUS!!!


The Hip Hop BEEF between rapper Young Thug and Lil Wayne, may have looked INNOCENT - but last night it reportedly took a DEADLY TURN.

Weird and stupid oyinbo Man gets huge tattoo of his baby's face...on his face

20 year old Christien Sechrist from Houston posted this photo of his new tattoo - which is the face of his newborn baby boy named Perseus - on his Facebook page and got dragged by people who found it both hilarious and stupid. No one thought it was adorable.

Ariana Grande, My Bizarre Obsessed Fan Won't Go Away!

Okay, First of all, I LIKE BigSean ooooo, buh the nigga is a fool for letting this kind fine Mami go. However, Ariana has bigger fish to fry obviously,
0424-ariana-grande-PCN-01

HannahMiley CyrusMontana sha!!!! This missy TWERKED TOO HARD On Stage . . . And Her STUFF POPPED OUT!!



 






 Miley Cyrus has gone from a CUTE ratchet to just a NASTY RATCHET. At her concert a few days ago, she twerked her MONKEY loose .

YO! LOOK WHAT NICKI LOOKS LIKE WITHOUT ALL THOSE hmmmm

The rapper was spotted at the airport with her weave or make-up...and almost didn't look like her. See more photos after the cut...

Ondo Commissioner for Agriculture appointed new deputy governor




  News reaching us at 47timez is that, Following the impeachment of Ondo state deputy governor, Alhaji Ali Olanusi this morning, the state Commissioner for Agriculture, Mr Lasisi Oluboyo has been appointed the new deputy governor. Effective immediately

Khloe and Lamar Not Ready for Divorce The Door's Open a Crack


4/27/2015

0424-khloe-kardashian-lamar-odom-tmz-01
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are NOT ready to divorce ... in fact, they're secretly talking.
Sources connected to both Khloe and Lamar tell TMZ, the 2 of them are not romantic and are not talking reconciliation, but they don't want to close the door on the marriage either. That explains why Khloe's divorce has been laying dormant in the courts for more than a year ... the judge has even said if she doesn't s*** or get off the pot, he'll dismiss it.
Our Lamar sources says there's bad blood on both sides.  It's not as if he's begging her to reconcile ... he feels betrayed by Khloe as well. The Lamar sources say she's told him he has to make some sort of "grand gesture" before they can go the next step, and so far he's not willing to do it.

Saturday, 25 April 2015

Oh Snap! 1 0F of the Most Perfectly Timed Images




www.nova919.com.au
www.nova919.com.au
Well, Jasper’s family and friends always call him a dickhead and now we know why. This has got to be one of the most perfectly timed images ever, and even though you know what it really is, every time you look you see “IT” all over again

THE £400m SKY MANSION - This Boeing 747 has luxury bedrooms, restaurant & VIP room {PHOTOS}


A massive Boeing 747 that carries over 600 passengers as a commercial plane was converted into a home for a mystery billionaire. The custom-built plane comes complete with bedrooms with eight full beds, multiple lounges, a state room and an onboard restaurant. It cost the billionaire owner £400million for it to be customized to his taste and took over three years to be achieved.
See the amazing photos below...

Wendy Williams slams Bruce Jenner, calls him a 'fame whore' and 'Belinda'


On her show on Thursday, a day before Bruce Jenner's blockbuster interview with Diane Sawyer aired, opinionated talkshow host, WendyWilliams slammed Bruce Jenner for living a lie for 65 years.
"If this wasn’t an obligation due to my career, I wouldn’t watch" Wendy said of the upcoming show "I feel duped by Bruce… I don’t feel duped because he’s turning into a woman. I feel duped because he’s the same fame whore as the rest of the family. Bruce has a daughter who is 17, involved with a 25 year old father of one. And she's a high school drop out and she's messing with her face and her boobs, and her behind, way to early in life. Bruce has bigger fish to fry than turning into Belinda. He should have thought about [transitioning] before he had all the kids… Belinda, shame on you!"

Thursday, 12 February 2015

THE STORY BEHIND THE BOOK

The Story Behind the Book

Both my grandfathers were interesting men, both born in the early 1900s in British-controlled Igbo land, both determined to educate their children, both with a keen sense of humor, both proud. I know this from stories I have been told. Eight years before I was born, they died in Biafra as refugees after fleeing hometowns that had fallen to federal troops. I grew up in the shadow of Biafra. I grew up hearing ‘before the war’ and ‘after the war’ stories; it was as if the war had somehow divided the memories of my family. I have always wanted to write about Biafra—not only to honor my grandfathers, but also to honor the collective memory of an entire nation. Writing Half of a Yellow Sun has been my re-imagining of something I did not experience but whose legacy I carry. It is also, I hope, my tribute to love: the unreasonable, resilient thing that holds people together and makes us human.

Q & A with the Author

Q: What led you to write a book about the Nigeria-Biafra war?
I wrote this novel because I wanted to write about love and war,

MORE ON THE BEAUTIFUL CHIMAMANDA, IT'S LONG BUT BEAUTIFUL.


       Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie





Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's third novel, Americanah is the story of two Nigerian Ă©migrĂ©s who love and lose each other across continents and years. It is a book about leaving, and loneliness and the intersection between class and race, all of which makes it sound rather hard work – unjustly so. It is a book about hair: straight versus afro; and discreet tensions, not just between white Americans and Nigerian immigrants, but between Africans and African Americans, between the light- and dark-skinned, between new and established immigrants, and its frankness – in particular on the subject of gender – has upset some people. "I knew that was coming," says Adichie. "I can't write a book like that and then go, 'Oh my God, they're upset.' But my intention wasn't to upset." She smiles. "It's just that I'm willing to if that's what it takes to write the book."

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

"Democracy, Deferred"

Check out this post by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and tell me if she's not the best.
Y'all that knows me, know that iLove this woman to bits. See why iLove Her.

 
Last week, Victor, a carpenter, came to my Lagos home to fix a broken chair. I asked him whom he preferred as Nigeria’s next president: the incumbent, Goodluck Jonathan, or his challenger, Muhammadu Buhari. "I don’t have a voter’s card, but if I did, I would vote for somebody I don’t like,” he said. 'I don’t like Buhari but Jonathan is not performing.”

Victor sounded like many people I know: utterly unenthusiastic about the two major candidates in our upcoming election.
Were Nigerians to vote on likeability alone, Jonathan would win. He is mild-mannered and genially unsophisticated, with a conventional sense of humor. Buhari has a severe, ascetic air about him, a rigid uprightness; it is easy to imagine him in 1984, leading a military government whose soldiers routinely beat up civil servants. Neither candidate is articulate. Jonathan is given to rambling; his unscripted speeches leave listeners vaguely confused. Buhari is thick-tongued, his words difficult to decipher. In public appearances, he seems uncomfortable not only with the melodrama of campaigning but also with the very idea of it. To be a democratic candidate is to implore and persuade, and his demeanor suggests a man who is not at ease with amiable consensus. Still, he is no stranger to campaigns. This is his third run as a presidential candidate; the last time, in 2011, he lost to Jonathan.
This time, Buhari’s prospects are better. Jonathan is widely perceived as ineffectual, and the clearest example, which has eclipsed his entire presidency, is his response to Boko Haram. Such a barbaric Islamist insurgency would challenge any government. But while Boko Haram bombed and butchered, Jonathan seemed frozen in a confused, tone-deaf inaction. Conflicting stories emerged of an ill-equipped army, of a corrupt military leadership, of northern elites sponsoring Boko Haram, and even of the government itself sponsoring Boko Haram.
Jonathan floated to power, unprepared, on a serendipitous cloud. He was a deputy governor of Bayelsa state who became governor when his corrupt boss was forced to quit. Chosen as vice president because powerbrokers considered him the most harmless option from southern Nigeria, he became president when his northern boss died in office. Nigerians gave him their goodwill—he seemed refreshingly unassuming—but there were powerful forces who wanted him out, largely because he was a southerner, and it was supposed to be the north’s ‘turn’ to occupy the presidential office.
And so the provincial outsider suddenly thrust onto the throne, blinking in the chaotic glare of competing interests, surrounded by a small band of sycophants, startled by the hostility of his traducers, became paranoid. He was slow to act, distrustful and diffident. His mildness came across as cluelessness. His response to criticism calcified to a single theme: His enemies were out to get him. When the Chibok girls were kidnapped, he and his team seemed at first to believe that it was a fraud organized by his enemies to embarrass him. His politics of defensiveness made it difficult to sell his genuine successes, such as his focus on the long-neglected agricultural sector and infrastructure projects. His spokespeople alleged endless conspiracy theories, compared him to Jesus Christ, and generally kept him entombed in his own sense of victimhood.
The delusions of Buhari’s spokespeople are better packaged, and obviously free of incumbency’s crippling weight. They blame Jonathan for everything that is wrong with Nigeria, even the most multifarious, ancient knots. They dismiss references to Buhari’s past military leadership, and couch their willful refusal in the language of ‘change,’ as though Buhari, by representing change from Jonathan, has also taken on an ahistorical saintliness.
I remember the Buhari years as a blur of bleakness. I remember my mother bringing home sad rations of tinned milk, otherwise known as “essential commodities”—the consequences of Buhari’s economic policy. I remember air thick with fear, civil servants made to do frog jumps for being late to work, journalists imprisoned, Nigerians flogged for not standing in line, a political vision that cast citizens as recalcitrant beasts to be whipped into shape.
Buhari’s greatest source of appeal is that he is widely perceived as non-corrupt. Nigerians have been told how little money he has, how spare his lifestyle is. But to sell the idea of an incorruptible candidate who will fight corruption is to rely on the disingenuous trope that Buhari is not his party. Like Jonathan’s People’s Democratic Party, Buhari’s All Progressives Congress is stained with corruption, and its patrons have a checkered history of exploitative participation in governance. Buhari’s team is counting on the strength of his perceived personal integrity: his image as a good guy forced by realpolitik to hold hands with the bad guys, who will be shaken off after his victory.
In my ancestral home state of Anambra, where Jonathan is generally liked, the stronger force at play is a distrust of Buhari, partly borne of memories of his military rule, and partly borne of his reputation, among some Christians, as a Muslim fundamentalist. When I asked a relative whom she would vote for, she said, “Jonathan of course. Am I crazy to vote for Buhari so that Nigeria will become a sharia country?”
Nigeria has predictable voting patterns, as all democratic countries do. Buhari can expect support from large swaths of the core north, and Jonathan from southern states. Region and religion are potent forces here. Vice presidents are carefully picked with these factors in mind: Buhari’s is a southwestern Christian and Jonathan’s is a northern Muslim. But it is not so simple. There are non-northerners who would ordinarily balk at voting for a ‘northerner’ but who support Buhari because he can presumably fight corruption. There are northern supporters of Jonathan who are not part of the region’s Christian minorities.
Delaying the elections is a staggeringly self-serving act of contempt for Nigerians.
Last week, I was indifferent about the elections, tired of television commercials and contrived controversies. There were rumors that the election, which was scheduled for February 14, would be postponed, but there always are; our political space is a lair of conspiracies. I was uninterested in the apocalyptic predictions. Nigeria was not imploding. We had crossed this crossroads before, we were merely electing a president in an election bereft of inspiration. And the existence of a real opposition party that might very well win was a sign of progress in our young democracy
Then, on Saturday, the elections were delayed for six weeks. Nigeria’s security agencies, we were told, would not be available to secure the elections because they would be fighting Boko Haram and needed at least another month and a half to do so. (Nigeria has been fighting Boko Haram for five years, and military leaders recently claimed to be ready for the elections.)
Even if the reason were not so absurd, Nigerians are politically astute enough to know that the postponement has nothing to do with security. It is a flailing act of desperation from an incumbent terrified of losing. There are fears of further postponements, of ploys to illegally extend Jonathan’s term. In a country with the specter of a military coup always hanging over it, the consequences could be dangerous. My indifference has turned to anger. What a staggeringly self-serving act of contempt for Nigerians. It has cast, at least for the next six weeks, the darkest possible shroud over our democracy: uncertainty.
Linda Ikeji at 4:22 PM

Monday, 9 February 2015

Song Of a Banana Man

GEORGE SCOTT: We started about 21 years ago here in Hartford, a mom and pop with just three employees and my wife. We have grown from three employees – now we have nearly fifty. Most of the people who work for us are Jamaicans. It’s nice to be able to help your own people, and very often you need a new employee and it’s a matter of somebody mentioning a relative or somebody they knew, so it’s like an extended family for all of us.

And I think what we have done that makes me feel good particularly is the fact that we have made a contribution, not just to ourselves or to our own workers or to our own people, but to the community in which we live because we have certainly brought to the attention of many people how important diversity is in this town.

The poem that I have chosen to read is one that I really love. It’s set in the mid ’40s in Jamaica. The main person in the poem is small farmer who ekes out a living in the very hard hillsides in Portland of Jamaica. He’s proud of what he does; he knows who he is and he’s not afraid of facing anyone who wants to criticize him. I like it because of that expression of who a Jamaican is but I also like it because it was one of the first attempts by any Jamaican to use the Jamaican Creole in way it could have universal understanding.

He talks about places and things I’m familiar with. You know, as a youngster growing up in a Jamaica when he talks about Mullet and Janga swimming in the pool, I used to, you know, wade into the stream and try and catch these Janga which is like a little shrimp, you know, under the rocks. And the mountain Mullet in Jamaica is one of the sweetest- tasting fishes that you have, so a very nostalgic connection for me also, especially when you are far away from home, it kind of brings back the memories of who you are, who your people are, and what we stand for.

“The Song of the Banana Man” by Evan Jones.

Touris, white man, wipin his face,
Met me in Golden Grove market place.
He looked at m’ol’ clothes brown wid stain ,
AN soaked right through wid de Portlan rain,
He cas his eye, turn up his nose,
He says, ‘You’re a beggar man, I suppose?’
He says, ‘Boy, get some occupation,
Be of some value to your nation.’
I said, ‘By God and dis big right han
You mus recognize a banana man.

‘Up in de hills, where de streams are cool,
An mullet an janga swim in de pool,
I have ten acres of mountain side,
An a dainty-foot donkey dat I ride,
Four Gros Michel, an four Lacatan,
Some coconut trees, and some hills of yam,
An I pasture on dat very same lan
Five she-goats an a big black ram,
Dat, by God an dis big right han
Is de property of a banana man.

‘I leave m’yard early-mornin time
An set m’foot to de mountain climb,
I ben m’back to de hot-sun toil,
An m’cutlass rings on de stony soil,
Ploughin an weedin, diggin an plantin
Till Massa Sun drop back o John Crow mountain,
Den home again in cool evenin time,
Perhaps whistling dis likkle rhyme,
(Sung)Praise God an m’big right han
I will live an die a banana man.

‘Banana day is my special day,
I cut my stems an I’m on m’way,
Load up de donkey, leave de lan
Head down de hill to banana stan,
When de truck comes roun I take a ride
All de way down to de harbour side-
Dat is de night, when you, touris man,
Would change your place wid a banana man.
Yes, by God, an m’big right han
I will live an die a banana man.

‘De bay is calm, an de moon is bright
De hills look black for de sky is light,
Down at de dock is an English ship,
Restin after her ocean trip,
While on de pier is a monstrous hustle,
Tallymen, carriers, all in a bustle,
Wid stems on deir heads in a long black snake
Some singin de sons dat banana men make,
Like, (Sung) Praise God an m’big right han
I will live an die a banana man.

‘Den de payment comes, an we have some fun,
Me, Zekiel, Breda and Duppy Son.
Down at de bar near United Wharf
We knock back a white rum, bus a laugh,
Fill de empty bag for further toil
Wid saltfish, breadfruit, coconut oil.
Den head back home to m’yard to sleep,
A proper sleep dat is long an deep.
Yes, by God, an m’big right han
I will live an die a banana man.

‘So when you see dese ol clothes brown wid stain,
An soaked right through wid de Portlan rain,
Don’t cas your eye nor turn your nose,
Don’t judge a man by his patchy clothes,
I’m a strong man, a proud man, an I’m free,
Free as dese mountains, free as dis sea,
I know myself, an I know my ways,
An will sing wid pride to de end o my days
(Sung)Praise God an m’big right han
I will live an die a banana man.’

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Facebook newsfeed post by: Valentine Igolo

Valentine Igolo wrote:

Intro to Vagina
Squeeze 101
đź’‹
Every man loves a good “cum”. Now what if you could make that experience better?

The walls of the vagina are made up of muscles. All women should do what are known as kegel exercises to help tighten their vagina muscles.

 From what i read, I have
found that this same exercise is also good for maximum sexual satisfaction for ur male partner.
Kegel exercises explained in the simplest way is pretending 2 hold ur urine.
This simple motion causes the wall of d vagina to tighten together and relax
upon release of that hold. This simple exercise can b done during sex but is
often missed by ur male partner. It’s most effective use is just after ejaculation. Right after ejaculation and just when his penis begins to relax,
squeeze the walls of the vagina as in a kegel exercise, count 1,2 and release.
Repeat this for about five times and you are sure to get a OMG from your man!

Your vagina got skills!
Use it!

#Valentine

Happy Val's day in Adv

Prospective INEC ad hoc staff... Discussing politics.

Hey it's being a while since iwrite some thing by myself write? Hmmmm, politics... Thatks the hottest topic around now abi? Very hot even amongst people that a being trained to be neutral to the *poli-tricking* , hey am talking about prospective Inec ad hoc staff like me, who are being train at the moment. So many things are being discussed right now in this Jss3 class of Igwuebuike grammar school, a class that gives me the nostalgic joss of eight years ago.
 Am surprised that the issues of the postponement of Valentine's day election for the next six weeks is not topping the discussion polls here among prospective inec ad hoc staff, who are supposed to be displeased about the turn of events. But what they all are talking about is... Jonathan and. Buhari... Hu go vote for hu... No kind things wey iNeva hear for here today, the sensible. The bad and the irritating.. I've heard them all... Some jus speak like their brains are holo.. Others speak like they actually can do a better job than Buhari or Jonathan.. One guy in particular hu is a Jonathan suppoerter nearly got my folded fist in his face.. He's lucky that he standing meters away from me, the best statement I've hear all the here.. Is "non of both candidates are actually good men, we jus are inclined to choose the lesser of both evils.... Nd defintion of "lesser of both evils" differs from what MR A - MR B thinks" wow!!! That's jus wow... Sounds like what I'd say... If iHad the power to shout on top of my voice this afternoon.. Very objective and wonderfully intelligent thought... Again... One guy keeps shouting "we need change, we need change in this country.." It made me want to ask him if "Buhari was a bus conductor that had all the change in the world" but a funny looking guy beat me to it.. "ILove Nigeria and Nigerians... Be it GEJ or GMB we'll survive..." I almost said.. Something else iiAlsomt said was... "Do you knw that if Naija was anoda country, the absence of chibok girls, is reason enouf to remove jonathan.." Buh still iHeld my peace. Buh am going to say something now.. And this is it.." No matter how anybody wey dey here dey root for either Jonathan or Buhari, if on that election day... They were given money to vote for ur favourite's rival, u'd do it.. Cause deep down in us.. We av no faith in niether"... Jus said it. And they are about to crucify me... iHope the election goes down well ooo.. For my relatives leaving in the north, and the rest of us all toom #GodHelpUsAll #VoteNotFight. Peace....

Mr Chinyere 47

Facebook newsfeed post by: Ndi Igbo

How a 72 year old Man can withstand another 6 weeks of sensitisation campaigns in the whole 36 states remains to be seen. Health matters o.

And then, APC money don dey finish for this elections. Amaechi don spend billions of money where only God know where he get am from and would only be stupid to dole out more.
Tinubu would think twice about spending a second round of billions especially as Lagosians have stopped paying tax because of elections.

No money from Federation account to share till budget is passed so the APC Governors are in a financial mess.

At least APC needs another 15 billion naira to spend on Buhari's campaign the next 6 weeks. Atiku wey don go sleep since after he lost primaries cannot put his money on a sinking ship.

Jonah...sorry; Jega.... don give dem real uppercut

And they call Oga 'clueless'. I love that kind of cluelessness.

~~ Charles Novia

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Facebook newsfeed post by: Francesca Smith

Francesca Smith wrote:

The only relief i'm getting today is from Ifem's insanely true blog posts about Blackness in America. Don't know who Ifemelu is? Try reading Americanah by Chiamanda Ngozi Adichie (Thank you Erica White) A very, very good read*

“Dear American Non-Black, if an American Black person is telling you about an experience about being black, please do not eagerly bring up examples from your own life. Don’t say “It’s just like when I…” You have suffered. Everyone in the world has suffered. But you have not suffered precisely because you are an American Black. Don’t be quick to find alternative explanations for what happened.

[…]

Don’t say “We’re tired of talking about race” or “The only race is the human race.” American Blacks, too, are tired of talking about race. They wish they didn’t have to. But shit keeps happening. Don’t preface your response with “One of my best friends is black” because it makes no difference and nobody cares and you can have a black best friend and still do racist shit and it’s probably not true anyway, the “best” part, not the “friend” part. Don’t say your grandfather was Mexican so you can’t be racist. Don’t bring up your Irish grandparents’ suffering. Of course they got a lot of shit from established America. So did the Italians. So did the Eastern Europeans. But there was a hierarchy. A hundred years ago, the white ethnics hated being hated, but it was sort of tolerable because at least black people were below them on the ladder. Don’t say your grandfather was a serf in Russia when slavery happened because what matters is you are American now and being American means you take the whole shebang, America’s assets and America’s debts, and Jim Crow is a big-ass debt.

[…]

Finally, don’t put on a Let’s Be Fair tone and say “But black people are racist too.” Because of course we’re all prejudiced…but racism is about the power of a group and in America it’s white folks who have that power. How? Well, white folks don’t get treated like shit in upper-class African American communities and white folks don’t get denied bank loans or mortgages precisely because they are white and black juries don’t give white criminals worse sentences than black criminals for the same crime and black police officers don’t stop white folk for driving while white and black companies don’t choose not to hire somebody because their name sounds white and black teachers don’t tell white kids that they’re not smart enough to be doctors and black politicians don’t try some tricks to reduce the voting power of white folks through gerrymandering and advertising agencies don’t say they can’t use white models to advertise glamorous products because they are not considered “aspirational” by the “mainstream”.

[…]

And remember that it’s not about you. American Blacks are not telling you that you are to blame. They are just telling you what is.”

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Ten of My Best Rappers in The World

MY Own Personal Favourite Rappers list... My Top 10 Rappers in The World.

Starting for bottom to the Top.

  (10) BigSean... The guy's got good puch lines.. Love those
 
  (9) RickRoss... #100 black coffins earned u this place nigga nice work.

  (8)Erigga... Pigin English's most rugged and eloquent word rhymer.

 (7)2pac... Hey if this list was made August last year.. Pac would av topped it... He's Legend Thank God we made it.

 (6) Yung6ix.. Mtchew this guy is my favourite rapper with the best word playing skill...

 (5) Nas... Legend.. Story telling skill... Out of this world.

 (4) Common (the rapper)... For me writing jus *common* without adding *the rapper* doesn't jus cut it... This guy is so good dat his story telling skill beats dat of Nas.

 (3)M.I ... Proudly Nigerian... Best rapper ever.. With Nigerian blood flowing in him... Fifty times better dan Wale...

 (2) BlackMagic... The only reason y this guy is not on top of this list... "Or under" is dat.. Well forget... Blackmagic baby.. Some will say u no rapper... Buh in ur song #repete... Verse2 Bar number 13 or so... U said... "Blackmagic is a cool rapper, shokoto and t-shirt make u look dapper... What else dey wanna knw.

 (1) J.Cole... The emperor of the Coleworld... This guy is the reason ilove Nas, Pac.. Jay... And iCan't pass a J.Cole song online and nothit the download button... Weda na feautre or not..


 Some wonderful rappers like ".. Lilwanye, drake, kanye, jayZ...Vector.. Jessejagz... Would av made the list if iWas typing this ish a fews days or years back... This is my list for rightnow.. And it might change in the next minute.

Tuesday, 3 February 2015

cc: Dr Nems

See a prose verse iWrote to a gurl dat might never be mine.

Dear Cresent stone of night's light, (i.e the moon) You sure lighten my path in the darkness of light's fury. And for this am in ur debt. But I've got one plea to beg of Thee. There lies a pretty muse of mine, kilometres away from here, whose beauty could make the sky trade his width for a kiss. She's soon to become an actor in her dreams of tonight, and maybe mine. She reminds me of a perfect picture of what perfection should picture. Illuminating moon, as you doth brighten the night and sit majestically in the wide darkness of the sky, so those she my heart. She say's " am no Neuro-Surgeon" , but she surely knows her way around the heart,My Heart. Dear Friend(ii.e the Moon) please bring with you, the cool night's breeze and the Godly fairies of sweet dreams,to her warm bed dis night. To make her this night and subsequent night's sleep, prettier than she is. Ha!!! Just before u sleep dear miss, will u come with me to an eatery in the skies? Where we'll sit on the edge of moons head(with the moon's permission of course) while our legs dangle freely in the clouds, as the angels speak to You in a language only Angels like U and Michael , Gabriel and Haniel understands, as they tell u of the thought and talks my heart speaks of u, nd the beats and music my heart sings for u. Because like Aneal... U too are an Angel. Pls do sleep tight.

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

FROM: IFEMELU's (CHIMAMANDA) *The Small Redemtions of Lagos.

lion
From THISDAY, September 17 2014:
“Rivers State Governor, Hon. Chibuike Amaechi, has dismissed the comments by the state former Commissioner of Police, Mr. Joseph Mbu, who while apparently referring to Amaechi, described himself as a lion who tamed the governor in Port Harcourt.
‘How can a man who has no strength of character to be himself, to be a man and stand up to a woman, a man who willingly submits himself to serve as the puppet of a woman call himself a lion? How ironic! Mbu, no lion behaves like that! You are a disgrace and shame to the Nigerian Police Force.’”
This is like two little boys fighting in the playground. It is beyond juvenile. We all know the Governor is referring here to Aunty Patience. But maybe the lion-like way of accusing another of not being a lion is to eschew forthrightness, otherwise known as ikpo okwu afa.
Best solution is don’t fight in the playground. But if you must fight: Governor, please try and insult Police Commissioner without showing this kind of ugly misogyny.
Would it have been better if Police Commissioner had ‘served as the puppet of a man?’ We hope not. Even though you seem to be suggesting that.
The point should be that he ‘served as a puppet.’ It should be irrelevant whether or not he served as the puppet of a man or a woman.
Here is some news: women are in fact as fully human as men. Oh and you are men, not lions.

FROM: IFEMELU's (CHIMAMANDA) *The Small Redemtions of Lagos.

In May, we heard about the soldiers in Borno who shot at a car carrying their commanding officer. The commanding officer was not hurt. The soldiers were angry. Apparently because their (poorly-armed?) colleagues had been ambushed and killed on a road known to be Boko Haram territory.
But it was probably about much more than that single incident.
Their anger must have come from a sense of helplessness, of being poorly-led.
We often hear about soldiers not being paid their allowances, not being fed well, not having the arms and equipment they need, while fighting a guerilla war for which they are physically and mentally ill-equipped. And in territory that is vast and uneven, desert and forest.
Now twelve of them have been sentenced to death.
It feels wrong. It feels immoral.
Mutiny is to rebel or revolt against authority. To refuse to obey orders. It is a serious crime, but mutiny also assumes that the soldiers have been given fair orders.
If a General asks a group of soldiers to turn their guns to their chests and shoot, and they refuse, would that be considered mutiny? No, because it isn’t a fair order.
These men who have been sentenced to death represent the average Nigerian soldier who is fighting Boko Haram, dying, not being acknowledged.
It isn’t merely their orders that are unfair, their very condition of service is unfair.
They should not be killed. It achieves nothing. It will not act as a deterrent either, because if the circumstances remain the same, another group of soldiers will act from a sense of enraged helplessness. The solution is to improve soldier welfare. Give them what they need. Don’t send them to fight battles if they are not properly equipped.
The Army must do its own part, before it can demand so much of its soldiers.


Monday, 12 January 2015

Elections in the time of love.

   We are drawing closer and closer to the day of reckoning. February 14. Jonathan is my political enemy but I will give him and his INEC one thing: they chose the date wisely.
Valentine’s Day is a metaphor for the elections. After he chose this date I stopped doubting like people are now, that he indeed has a PhD. Only a man with that kind of intellect could have come up with this loaded date. Ok agreed his PhD is in the study of animals and not humans, but you have to agree that this PhD is perfect for the kind of people who surround the villa these days. Knowledge of human behavior or other sciences are useless in dealing with them. On Valentine’s Day Nigerians will express their love through the ballot for a candidate of their choice. And if Nigerians are as wise as I know they are, they will obviously choose me. Because I care.
    I see people these days asking General Buhari to produce his secondary school certificate. That indeed is what the law says. In fact I have just sent a copy of mine through DHL to INEC. I hope it reaches there safely. While I agree that Buhari should produce his certificate and stop asking the army to help him, I just want to say that asking Buhari to prove he finished secondary school is like asking a pregnant woman who already has three children that she has ever been touched by a man.
  Even as we draw closer to the season of love and elections, I am willing to say good things about Jonathan. While people around him and around Buhari keep looking for ways to undermine and discover scandals and lies about each other, I am the only candidate keeping positive. I noticed one great thing about Jonathan. In a recent speech at a rally he changed his mind about the Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta. His own boys. At a time when you think Jonathan will be relying on his tribal militants, he disowned their leader in public. In 2010 he publicly denied that MEND had anything to do with the October 1 bombings in Abuja. He said that people were trying to give MEND a bad name. Criminals. But then, thanks to the South Africans, I think he saw the light. And in 2015, he realized that indeed Henry Okah of MEND was behind the bombings, which he now claims were designed especially for him. MEND wanted to assassinate him. Some people sent them but he didn’t say who. Do you know what it means, for a person in power – the leader of the most populous black nation on earth with the largest economy in Africa – to admit wrong judgment? In public? He could have let it go thinking Nigerians would have forgotten about those 2010 bombings. But he didn’t. God bless South Africa for opening his eyes. And God bless Jonathan for letting his eyes be opened. Because you can show a man truth. But you cannot force him to see it.
   I hear that a certain priest, Father Mbiaka, gave a sermon against Jonathan that went viral. Someone saw the DVD in traffic and sent it to me. I could have just watched it online for free but I think the DVD is better. In that sermon Father Mbiaka claimed that since Goodluck Jonathan assumed office all we have been experiencing was bad luck. At first I was excited, thinking maybe, that was good for my own campaigns, but then sometimes they say that when your neighbours beard is on fire you start to wet your own beard. Just in case. Today it is Jonathan. Tomorrow it may be me. I researched it and it seems like he was angry about his hustle now enabling him to reach Aso Rock and so was lashing out. It is his hustle that has bad luck. I avoid people with bad luck. It is contagious.
   Speaking of love I heard that a daughter of President Jonathan recently got married. I was quite upset. He may be my political opponent but for now he is my president. He cannot be springing surprises like that. This is like being in a relationship with someone for five years, thinking you knew everything about them and then suddenly hearing that they have a grown up daughter about to get married. As part of transparency and accountability, Nigerians deserve to have a comprehensive list of all his children, especially the ones of marriageable age. Nigerians deserve a level playing field when it comes to loving his children. I am still single. Nothing stops him from sending me a text to ask if I am interested. That we are opponents doesn’t mean we can’t fall in love with each others relatives.
Dear Jonathan, if you are listening, kindly be mature and produce a list of you adult children. It is the least you can do. God bless.

 Written by Elnathan John ecceneljo@yahoo.com (daily trust)

Sunday, 11 January 2015

Why Should iEven vote for Buhari.

 Each time, ihear my self saying, *iSwear iGo vote Buhari for this election* especially when something bad happens to me, like the other day one stupid keke driver *wey God go soon punish* splashed mud water on my chinos trouser (thank god it wasn't white). iFind my self reacting to every pot hole, electricity abnormally, or any bad news as a problem the present and past administrations in the Nigerian presidency had failed to fix. One time somebody wrote something like *we blame Jonathan for erry thing that happens to us, even for the hole in our pants*. Buh then again why shouldn't we? Buhari, as a military president or *what ever he was* had two years, before he was ousted, so he can be excused for doing little or nothing. *hope u don't think so too* Let's jus say we are liberal enough to excuse him. A liberal mind that GEJ doesn't posses, iHeard him accusing GMB of doing absolutely nothing in his two years of ruling Nigeria, as if calling a pot like himself black, wasn't ridiculous enough,he further went ahead to make his point by quoting the speech IBB gave after the coup, justify overthrowing GBM the illegal but legal military way, something that sounds like, *u failed nigeria by not giving them what you promised them after ousting a democratically civilian government" hmmm sounds to me like GEJ and his campaign team are the only people naĂŻve enough to believe that Army Generals don't start preping for the next coup immediately after the last, and taking that the newly coup-successful Genrals say on TV after ousting one of their own, with a *take it to the bank kind of assurance* is just mere stupidity... Okay back to business. However, GEJ on the other hand, has had six6, six good/verryverrry bad years., and he wants more... Okay let's look at the bigger picture if we gee him more , that will be 10 abi? However some will say six years is too small to effect real change in a big country like Niaja, how about 16sixteen years? (Had a little problem believing that 1999 was sixteen years ago,lemme count again, dis time with my fingers to be sure*after counting*...okay am sure) SIXTEEN fucking years under PDP!!!! E neva doooo? E neva do them to implement the one million point agenda wey dem get for Nigeria? 1999 - 2015. Do u knw that. In the year 2000, iWas in primary two, we used live in Lawancing, Surulere, with one of my aunt(before we moved to Okoko dat same year) and iused to school @Okoko, iAnd my big brother. From surulere to okoko then, would cost us just 30naira(coz we lappedy... Okay lemme come down to ur level... From mile2 to okoko then was just 10naira!!!!!!!!!! 10naira!!!!!!! Nkiti. Eh??? 10naira. Chai!!! Now, Mile2 to Okoko, can be 200naira at rush hours and 150 normal time. Hmmmm,There is God ooo.
     I'd love to say more, but if iTalk, more then I'll be supporting someone person.... Buh then again my job is to observe abi, and this is what I've observed... Nigeria is getting worse, we are moving down... Not like we hadn't any progress over the years ooo, u've had. Buh it seems to me like our country is on auto-pilot, nobody is really taking control of things and forcing or swaying things to get better... The kind of leaders we have or we've had, are not really leaders... Jus caretakers, who take glory for the good they really did not effect and disown the vice they really did nothing to prevent. Trust me, if we had no president, our economy would still be the same, probably better because we won't be paying all those pot belled politicians abi?... The president thing is more now of a psychological gap filler *that's what ithink*... Na wa ooo... But then again, y shuld iVote for Buhari... How sure am iThat he's will be different from what we have now? Words of his oral-cavity is not all that is needed to convince US of a better tomorrow, than now.. As a Lagosian, that has seen first hand the *wonderment* of BaBa-Fash(BRF) aka, Fashola, would have no problem voting for him as president, having seen what he did to igbo-elerin road in Okoko, where iStay in Lag, if he had being elected as the flag bearer of APC. Buh then again, it's not a very hard choice to choose between what has not being working for you in the last 16years, and what u think might work for u! Or is it? U knw CHANGE is hard... Maybe we need that very convincing pat on the back and a stretch of hand in the right direction to make that choice.. Don't look at me for it... am as lost as u are. Let's hope to god for guidance and please not voting or sellin ur vote is not the solution at all. CiD #Election2015. I'm Chinyere Chukwuemeka Ugochukwu

Really! How BIG is sambisa?

 Is SAMBISA forest, 234times bigger than the whole of Nigeria? It seems so oo, incase u don't knw, e don dey go one year ooo. Why havn't iHeard any presidential aspirant say somethin like, #I'llBringBackYourGirls2015, (hmmmm, who am iFooling) shabi na two aspirants we get abi? Or. Even one sef, because the other person is in power o kwa ya? So if GMB really is president material, why haven't iheard him said #I'llBringBackYourGirls2015 and make americans wish they are eligible vote for him. Furthermore why isn't anybody asking any thing again? Are tried?.... Mmmmhhhhhmmm, Me I've got questions ooo plenty of them ni ooo ... Mostly about #ChibokGirls
 (1) How many girls were they really!? (cause am getting real confused)
 (3) And if they are still alive what are they still doing there in Sambia(rewind)
 (2) How many of those girls are still alive.
 (4) But wait oooo, were they really kidnapped?(Ooops that shuld be question number zero, sorry MrPresident let's continue)
(5) Have we made a move to rescue them? If yes, why ain't we being debriefed about situation on ground like we were during the Ebola administration (incase u didn't notice, Nigerians loved that *being debriefed type of thing oo* it made us feel important we should do it some other time... Maybe now)
 (6) Will those girls ever come back? (It's not compulsory, they comeback the same(OBJ take note), let dem jus come back abeg)
 (7) What will happen to the WAEC examinations they didn't take b4 they we're whisked away on a forced excursion to Samsiba resort (longest excursion ever). Will they pass?
 (8) Will they be given civil service jobs on their return as compensation? (Just asking the obvious) iKnow that's u GEJ style.
  (9) Na wa ooo, MrPresident why u neva answer any question na?
  (10)If you know deep down that u can't #BringBackOurGirls then why can't you just vote for someone that you think could, or do u think because u couldn't do it, nobody can?
 Vote Chinyere Chukwuemeka Ugochukwu ... #I'llBringBackYourGirls2015 if if it's the only ti ti ti thing iDo... #LoveNigeria #Votewisely #VoteNotFight chinyerechukwuemekaugochukwu47. CiD.

Being sincere isn't what both GMB and GEJ are really born to be.

  At first , iThought of *Lies they've both told us* as a good title, but I'd have to do a little research to remember them all(or not), because iWasn't alive during the period Genaral Muhammadu Buhari ruled nigeria. But what iCan remember my Dad say about the regime of GMB(whenever the topic is being raised) is, *the man ruled Nigeria with an iron fist, and that's what our country needs now, because of all the corruption errywhere". Hey, hey, hey, before you start having incorrect imaginations of the type of man/nigerian my dad is, lemme tell you that my dad is not the type of self righteous, uptight *am not giving that man any bribe* type of Nigerian man u read about of a character in any Chimamanda's novel. My Dad? He a correct Naija man, willing to gee any police man as much bribe as he can, to get his right/white lie, to where ever he wants it to get to, be it Alagbon or Panti. The system is spoilt and he's swayed with, it like many nigeriansm
 So taking what my Dad said about GBM being the iron fisted man for the job, knowing fully well that he(my Dad) was (or still is) a bit sympathetic to the GEJ cause, raises a few indifferent feelings in my stomach.
  Not too long ago, beautiful comments and statements unworthy of senior elder states men like GEJ and GMB were flying around, with credits to them. And it hurts me that one person can actually have the guts to accuse the other fellow of lying, something they both do without looking back. Just four years ago, when GEJ and GBM were at each other's throats (less tighter than now though) during campaigns. They both made different promises to Nigerians, (pls if u've had patience reading thisfar, pls continue. It gets better) not the type of promise we hear every day, about how they'll *transform* OKOKOMAIKO to Manhattan in four days and then scream *TRANSFORMATION* at the end of the well, or not so well rehearsed speech. No not that type of mainstream promise, buh this time it was something a little bit different, some thing more believable, some-promise easier keep, in dignity and respect of sincerity, GEJ made the promise of "if iGet elected iWon't run for second term" this was in 2011 oooo, and for reasons unknown to all, we hurriedly believed him, SHAM!, he's was as usual, a ploy to get elected abi, and GBM on the other hand made a promise too " I won't contest again if am not elected in 2011" hmmmmmmm, who he trying to deceive or scare into voting for him, it's unimaginable what these politicians would say to get voted sha! And they manage to get away with it, because we Nigerians take sincerity with a pinch of salt, or even less. The "Goodluck Ebele *Azikiwe* Jonathan" campaign name really worked sha, to sway tribalistic Ibos like my Dad to vote for him, "it's better ur, brother dan an aboki" my Dad once said, even if the president Is bad, it's better to have a bad president hu's ur broda abi?...however, What iKnw right now is iLove Nigeria, and iAv not really decided who to vote for, because one will never truly understand politics until they understand that, politicians are really not trying to solve our problems, they are only trying to solve their own problems - of which getting elected and re-elected are number One and number Two, and number three will be getting set up for life, number four might also be, still holding nigeria(or anything ruled they for 8years, be it AbiaState or my village) to a ransom after 8years in office... Then again what their third -(to)- one million(th) reason for vying for office might be, is definitely up for debate. But am certain of Reason 1 and 2reasons. Please do Vote wisely, VoteNotFight, #LoveNigeria. #NaWeGetAm. #Election2015 am Chinyere Chukwuemeka Ugochukwu. Thank you.

Friday, 9 January 2015

What About Homosexual-ism in Naija.

 Top of the morning to you, TGIF. Hey, did I promise to blog more often and seriously this year? Hmmm, hope iDo keep my promise, am just a really lazy cat sha. Now let's talk about homosexually in naija, before I say anything, iKnw tons of ppple will like to comment buh, it turns out to be almost impossible to comment if u don't av a goggle± account, something we trying very hard to rectify. The topic of LGBT in Nigeria has always had the ability to raise unsettle-able any where the matter is being discussed, errybody is one way or the other, forced to concur with the idea that the homosexuality of "any man born of a woman" is nothing buh demonic,for the fear of being labelled *Homo*, if u actually suggest otherwise.
 What iThink about Gays, are plenty. Buh iAv to be sincere, not until iRead Chimamanda's article about the so called 14years Anti-Gay bill passed, iToo used to think like, *alll the gays in Nigeria are irritating and should be killed*, truth is, they are kinda irritating sha, especially the idea of them finding my ass sexy than that of Toolz' or Omotola's, hello!???? (Some will say iitks their Life to like what ever) buh not when it involves my ass. iCan deal with a homosexual buddy, who doesn't seem to be a treat to my nyash space. Like iHave confessed b4, Chimamanda Adichie, as a writer, has a very strong hold on me. iRead her pieces and immediately see sense in what iThought was total BS, iKnw it sounds stupid, buh if she one day woke up and write about Jesus Christ being a mere fiction, iJust might believe, or then again... That will be what would break her strong literary hold over me. My point is, we are new to this *homo* business in Naija, why are we so eager to send them to a 14year honeymoon in Kirikiri, because of a truth, they really a going on honeymoon, where they'll find cute guyz like them to "stick it to"... Note that iDon't hate Gays, don't love them either, but what iHate is the fact that, they think they can walk upto a straight a nigga and lite up a gay fire, they shuld av something like a code of identity between dem selves... So dat dem go knw hu to chyke and hu not to chyke... Straight and Gay can live in peace as far as nobody is invading nobody's ass space.
  Finally, let the love flow, pls pple shuld realized that,some other pple were jus not born the way the rest of us were, thank goodness that my Homo-toaster no dey text me again, and for all the LGBT pple in the house, pls and pls, mind the way u walk up to straight pple, to chyke them. No matter how bleached ur LGTB face might be, it can't make me find a guyz ass sexy,(unless the guy looks like Toolz). iLove y*ll, buh iLike gals-gals (in YQ's voice). Let's be Less homophobic till we are totally non-homophobic...
   For pple hu will say am homophobic with this my write up... What can iSay, *hand on my chest* ipromise to be less homophobic on my next article about LGBT, and for those who didn't get what I've being saying since... Try again later... CiD.

What About Homosexual-ism in Naija.

 Top of the morning to you, TGIF. Hey, did I promise to blog more often and seriously this year? Hmmm, hope iDo keep my promise, am just a really lazy cat sha. Now let's talk about homosexually in naija, before I say anything, iKnw tons of ppple will like to comment buh, it turns out to be almost impossible to comment if u don't av a goggle± account, something we trying very hard to rectify. The topic of LGBT in Nigeria has always had the ability to raise unsettle-able any where the matter is being discussed, errybody is one way or the other, forced to concur with the idea that the homosexuality of "any man born of a woman" is nothing buh demonic,for the fear of being labelled *Homo*, if u actually suggest otherwise.
 What iThink about Gays, are plenty. Buh iAv to be sincere, not until iRead Chimamanda's article about the so called 14years Anti-Gay bill passed, iToo used to think like, *alll the gays in Nigeria are irritating and should be killed*, truth is, they are kinda irritating sha, especially the idea of them finding my ass sexy than that of Toolz' or Omotola's, hello!???? (Some will say iitks their Life to like what ever) buh not when it involves my ass. iCan deal with a homosexual buddy, who doesn't seem to be a treat to my nyash space. Like iHave confessed b4, Chimamanda Adichie, as a writer, has a very strong hold on me. iRead her pieces and immediately see sense in what iThought was total BS, iKnw it sounds stupid, buh if she one day woke up and write about Jesus Christ being a mere fiction, iJust might believe, or then again... That will be what would break her strong literary hold over me. My point is, we are new to this *homo* business in Naija, why are we so eager to send them to a 14year honeymoon in Kirikiri, because of a truth, they really a going on honeymoon, where they'll find cute guyz like them to "stick it to"... Note that iDon't hate Gays, don't love them either, but what iHate is the fact that, they think they can walk upto a straight a nigga and lite up a gay fire, they shuld av something like a code of identity between dem selves... So dat dem go knw hu to chyke and hu not to chyke... Straight and Gay can live in peace as far as nobody is invading nobody's ass space.
  Finally, let the love flow, pls pple shuld realized that,some other pple were jus not born the way the rest of us were, thank goodness that my Homo-toaster no dey text me again, and for all the LGBT pple in the house, pls and pls, mind the way u walk up to straight pple, to chyke them. No matter how bleached ur LGTB face might be, it can't make me find a guyz ass sexy,(unless the guy looks like Toolz). iLove y*ll, buh iLike gals-gals (in YQ's voice). Let's be Less homophobic till we are totally non-homophobic...
   For pple hu will say am homophobic with this my write up... What can iSay, *hand on my chest* ipromise to be less homophobic on my next article about LGBT, and for those who didn't get what I've being saying since... Try again later... CiD.

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Ever being hit on by a Gay guy.

Today, makes it the fourth time, I'm being hit on by a guy... Itks totally ewww, imust confess, ikinda like the attention sha... The thought of me being hot enuf for someone to walk up to and say hi.. Is jus #awe. iforbid my self to even flirt harmlessly with this gay guy... Hw it all started sef... iWas busy buying my sef a wallet ooo, den the colour confused nigga came along to buy some tin too, like two polite nigerian strangers, a conversation was born out of nothing... And it lead to him grabbing my phone and squeezing my phone number out.. The normal *guy chyking a gal way* , immediately he walked away from me, his steps were ringing *am gay* *am gay* *am gay*... Then the chatting started. Presebtly am supposed to be in Nourisha,hanging out with a yellow(thanks to numerous creams) gay guy.... Hope this story doesn't end with an expanded ass hole... Buh the good side is this... #AmSexy... All my working out not in vain... *wink*    

Happy new year

 It's was a beautiful new year's day celebration, some where in the family. Compound of Ezi Ekpe-nta, Ndoro Oboro, Abia state... iHad the best new year's day celebration, ever! Thnaks to family and friends, pple iNever thought would play any part my 2015...
  After the holidays., which for me, ended on sunday... Which was my lil sis' 17th birthday (HBD maami,iLove u). Am back to my life in awka... And as usual filled with enormous dreams for the year 2015.. iDidn't blog, since 2014's xmas day .. For that am sorry... My village had network for only making calls... MTN no do us well. Buh Nepa, or is is EEDC did us well tru out our stay sha... And am grateful.
 Jus wanted to tell all of y*al that missed me, that, am back to the blogsphere... And this year on MrChinyere'sJournal will be magical...#StayWithMe. Happy New Year. CiD. #finally20